Although I am early in the church planting experience I am discovering emotions that are rather new to me. In my previous life as a pastor I did not have to experience too many new emotions. While it was a great position and an awesome privilege to pastor, it was a safe position. It already had a faithful following (the church), a steady paycheck, and built in leaders. It was safe. Now I find myself in a world that contains very few guarantees.
Although I have read a ton of stuff about how to plant churches, I have not found too much about how church planters feel. Therefore, this week I want to share with you some of the feelings that I have been experiencing lately. I know not all of you are church planters, but maybe you will identify.
This feeling that I had first and still continues on a daily basis is the question, "Why me?" I mean come on God, "don't you know I have Multiple Sclerosis? Don't you know that stress and fatigue are absolutely horrible for someone with MS? By the way God, I don't think I am creative enough to be a church planter. I don't have enough education, I haven't even finished seminary yet! Besides that, why send me to Greenville - Woodruff Road on top of that! I don't like traffic and I get lost easily." By the way God, "have you considered sending someone else more qualified?"
There are days that I wonder if I jumped when I should have stayed in my safe position. There are days when I wonder what if I have made a mistake. There are days when I just want to stay in bed. I have been told that as a leader I should not share such things and put on a good face and show my strength. I believe that leaders need to show they are on the journey just like everyone else. So there it is, my frustrating, nagging feeling of "Why Me?"
I am not focusing on how to battle the feeling, maybe we can deal with that next week. I am just putting it out there. Do you battle with this, or am I the only person? Give me some feedback here, what do you do to battle against this feeling? It is not hard to comment on this blog site and I encourage you to become more than a reader of the blog, but a participant. We can only grow from one another when we are willing to put ourselves out there with one another. Look forward to hearing from you!
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2 comments:
Hi Mike and Family,
I can relate. We came here from Memphis almost 3 months ago. I know that God called us here. He orchestred every thing and it all came together beautifully. I could have never put it together myself.
God has been faithful in everything for us. He promises in His word that He will never leave us or forsake us.
He calls us out to press us on to a higher walk with Him.
I know that I have drawn closer to Him and am expericing a greater love with Him since I
have moved to Greenville. I know that it was in obeidence in him that i came here. I feel His presence and peace with me everday.when the naggingfeelings come , I draw strength from Jesus and feel His affirming that i did the right thing, He called me and I am following Him. There is so much joy in doing His will.
you and your family have such sweet spirits. Ipray for you that the joy of the Lord is your strength. We are all unworthy but very much loved. God wants to touch others through us with his love and encourgement. He wants people to know that He is their lover and giver of life. I know I want to know Him and love him the way the apostle john did.
Be encouraged brother, you are on a journey, and it will be a great adventure. Stay true , geninue, real and focused on Jesus.
thanks for letting me share
sandra
I am right there with ya! I think to myself... Why me... everyday.
I HAVE to remind myself... ONLY BECAUSE GOD CALLED ME!
I have never been to seminary, feel totally unqualified, and scared too! I am way early in the process too. Great post. Keep sharing from the heart!
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