Do I Love God?

Lately I have been on a journey to figure out why I do some of the things that I do. One of the areas I am trying to get a handle on is my love for God. I am finding out that there are many things that I do because that's just what you do to show God that you love Him. For example: do I attend church to worship God or to show Him my faithfulness to Him? Am I diligent about loving others in Christ because I truly love them or because God expects it? Do I share Jesus with my neighbors because I am concerned for them, or because it is a mandate of the church?

You probably don't understand what I am trying to say, because I am struggling with this myself. Do I love God and keep His commands simply because I love Him, or do I keep His commands in order to do works to prove that I love Him?

I have been reading I John 1 and 2 the last couple of days and it specifically tells me that if I love God, I will obey His commands. My question is which commands? And that probably is my problem. If I focus on what to obey, then maybe I am missing the point of who to obey. If I am to obey God, then I must spend time with Him daily! He must lead me and I must be open to His will. I must live a life of complete obedience to Him and not a to-do list.

To live this kind of life then I must be in a relationship with Christ. One that goes beyond the thirty minute devotion time I set aside. I must be on a regular speaking basis with Christ. Let's be honest here, it would be easier to follow the commandments of the church than God. The church expects us to be faithful to services, attend special events, attend visitation night, give money, etc. That is why so many can be good church members while never developing a relationship with Christ. Christ commandment is to Follow Him! He is not in a box, nor leads us to a life in one.

So my question is Do I Love God? This morning I see that I can make others think I love God by my actions. But to truly answer this question I must look in my heart and see if my love for God is what is controlling my actions. If not, then do I love God?