I enjoyed taking Monday off and spending time with my family, but it seems like I have lost a day somewhere. I want to continue with the Interdependent Disciple, but it is already Thursday prayer - so we will pick up the disciple next week.
Today's prayer I am going to be absolutely selfish and ask that you pray for me. Now before I put my feelings out there, let me assure everyone that I am fine. Sometimes after I post people call because they are worried that I am frustrated or angry or something like that. I am blogging for me, not to pass on words of wisdom to others. This is my journal of planting a church, therefore there will be raw emotions. I am just opening my life up because I think others can identify but are too fearful to open up and let others see what is going on. My life is an open book. And with that here is why I am asking for prayer:
I have been at this church plant deal for eight months and it is the hardest thing ever! You may wonder why so hard. Well, the truth is that I never escape church planting world. Since my living room is my office, work is always there. Since my mind is constantly formulating mental movies of the church plant, it never shuts down. Since my mental movies are usually wrong, the disappointment is continual. Since the work is so slow, I am constantly pushing forward. Since my focus is people, my time is fleeting. Since I deal with MS, my heath is always a question. Since we have few people, I am constantly seeking how we can get it done. Just to name a few reasons why it is hard work.
With anything, after the initial phases the excitement wears off and you have to make a decision to stop or move on. Here's where I would like for you to pray for me: that I will move forward with The Journey with confidence and boldness. Would I like to quit? Today, yes. I would like to have a regular job with a regular schedule and a regular paycheck. Sorry if this honesty freaks you out, but this is my journal remember. Will I quit, NO - it is not a viable option for me. I cannot and will not quit on God and spend my life sitting on the sidelines wondering what could have been.
So you may wonder why pray to continue if you know you are moving forward? I ask you to pray so that I will have confidence in the plan of God, that I will be encouraged knowing that God will use a disabled, that I will have the faith that God will always bring about His plan, that I will celebrate what God is doing at The Journey, that I will enjoy the ride, and that I will grow into a man after God's own heart through the valley and on the mountain top.
Wow, I feel better just expressing my feelings - as confused as they may seem. As I have prayed through this myself, I feel a fresh wind of the Spirit blowing on my life. Hey, maybe you ought to try this. Maybe not on a blog, but on a piece of paper. Write out your raw emotions and just feel the Spirit begin to minister. And if I can pray for you, it would be an honor!
1 comment:
Lord- right now I lift up Mike and the place that he is in right now. I know that no matter where we are in life we have ups and downs, good days and bad, that's just the way things go. But I pray right now for your spirit to cover him, I pray for peace and rest in his soul. I pray that you speak to him clearly and show him that you are pushing him through, challenging him to better his walk and his experience. Lord I thank you for Mike's honesty, for his willingness to open up and share what is going on. I thank you that he is vulnerable before you and that he holds himself accountable. Bless him today and throughout the week. In Jesus Name -Amen
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